Finding Your Way: Practical Steps for LGBTQ Christians Navigating Faith

If you find yourself in the middle - loving God, knowing who you are, and trying to figure out how those two things can actually coexist - I want you to know that this is one of the bravest places to be. I have been there, and I work with people in that space every day. Here are three practical tips for navigating your faith as an LGBTQ Christian.

First - Find your safe people.

Before anything else, you need people you can be completely honest with. Friends, family, a therapist, a coach, a faith community; someone who will not flinch when you tell them the whole truth. A lot of us did not grow up with that kind of safety net, and that absence makes everything harder. You cannot really start exploring what it looks like to hold both your faith and your identity if you are constantly managing how much of yourself you are allowed to show. If you are looking for a safe faith community and do not know where to start, check out thegoodtable.ca or gaychurch.org; both are great places to find people who get it.

Second - Drop the shame. 

Shame is sneaky. It tells you that you are not just doing something wrong; that you are wrong and the problem, at the core of who you are. A lot of us have been carrying that message our whole lives, handed to us by churches, families, and systems that did not know better or did not care. But here is what I want you to hear: that is not the voice of God. Our God is a loving parent who desires you to live a full and flourishing life, not a scorekeeper waiting for you to mess up.

Third - Let your theology grow with you.

This one takes time, and that is okay. As you start asking harder questions and sitting with more honest theology, something shifts. Your brain actually starts to rewire, especially when the theological work is paired with community and good support. This was the thing that changed everything for me personally. We owe it to ourselves to hold up what we were taught and ask whether it is actually true, whether it is actually healthy, and whether it actually sounds like the God we meet in the life of Jesus. A deeper and more honest theology is not a threat to your faith. For a lot of us, it has been the thing that saved it.

This is not a race. Every small, honest step you take - toward community, toward healing, toward a God big enough to hold all of who you are - is moving you somewhere better. One day, you will look back and barely recognize how far you have come. And wherever you are today, know this: you are deeply loved by the Creator, exactly as you are.