Navigating Love Without Losing Yourself

Written By Sarah Montes

The Fine Line Between Support and Codependent Behaviours  

Loving someone through addiction can feel like walking a tightrope. On one side is the desire to support and care for them in a way that fosters healing and connection. On the other is the risk of losing yourself in their needs, emotions, and struggles—falling into patterns of Codependent behaviours.

Many people who care deeply for others struggle with this tension. They want to be a source of love and stability, yet they may find themselves exhausted, resentful, or feeling responsible for someone else’s recovery. And when they hear the word codependent, it can sting—implying that their love is unhealthy, that they are enabling, or even that they are part of the problem. This can bring up deep shame as if caring too much is a flaw rather than a natural human instinct. Codependent behaviour is not a character defect—it is often a learned survival strategy… READ MORE

Sarah Montes

Sarah Montes is a Registered Practical Counsellor, Master Practitioner in Clinical Counselling RPC, MPCC and a Canadian Certified Addiction Counsellor, CCAC, dedicated to helping individuals and families move from the chaos of addiction to the clarity of recovery. As the founder of Sarah Montes Recovery & Associates, she provides a compassionate bridge between clinical expertise and the profound insight that only lived experience can offer.

Sarah is dually credentialed through the Canadian Professional Counsellors Association (CPCA) and the Canadian Addiction Counsellors Certification Federation (CACCF). Her robust clinical foundation is built upon specialized training in:

Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Addiction, and Trauma-Informed Professional Addiction Studies

Having held key roles in withdrawal management , as a primary counsellor in residential treatment, and providing one-on-one therapy in various clinical settings, Sarah understands the full continuum of care.

Sarah operates within the Biopsychosocial-Spiritual model, ensuring that healing addresses the whole person—mind, body, community, and spirit. She empowers her clients to reclaim their sovereignty.

A hallmark of Sarah’s practice is her commitment to the family behind addiction. She works extensively with partners, spouses, parents, and loved ones, providing the guidance needed to navigate family dynamics, establish healthy boundaries, and foster collective healing.

Beyond her private practice, Sarah is a prominent voice in the recovery community. She contributes significantly to the field through professional development, public speaking, and advocacy, working tirelessly to reduce the shame and stigma surrounding addiction in all its forms.

Whether working one-on-one or speaking to a crowd, Sarah’s approach remains rooted in empathy, deep understanding, and an unwavering belief in every person’s capacity for a fresh start.

https://www.sarahmontesrecovery.ca
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The Rise of the Sober Movement: A Personal Journey Toward Alcohol-Free Living